Yes , This week I will be officially completing my 3 years as a hostellite .
A feat that I couldn’t have dreamt of some day .
( I mean ..summoning water was a matter of screaming , not actually walking . And washing clothes ??? What did they make washing machines for ! )
But , somehow ( thanks to mom’s 18 year long extensive training ) , I have managed to survive ( …and then some ;-) )
And what I’ll suggest is .. DO live in a hostel ,at least once in your life . It’s like an ‘initiation’ passage into the ‘responsible’ adult way ( or at least … into your life as an alcoholic/doper/smoker/thief/psycho/free-loader )
Here’s the list of top 20 things you learn while in hostel :
1.It’s my room . If I need peace ..I know how to ORDER people out !
2.Cooking sucks… “home delivery “ rocks !
3.No matter how much some idiot knocks on the door… If you wana sleep , you gota sleep .
4.Never dry your clothes in the open ( Yes ! some perverts steal undies . Fact )
5.Cigeratte smoke is a part of natural air . Just accept it .
6.Free training at handling drunk patients ; and removing puke stained clothes
7. Walking half-naked ( and in other stages of undressing ) is totally OK ( and hot ? )
8.Peopel screaming/baulking/wailing/abusing is like Chennai autos on the road .You know it’s going to pound your eardrum …just get used to it .
9.Sweep the floor ONCE and your respect for your house maid increases exponentially !
10. Sharing food is a pleasure ( Yes ! I am a single kid … I had to learn it :D )
11.Sharing bathroom is a necessity … just close your eyes ( and other senses ) and do it .
12. Some people are born shameless … you know how to recognize the ‘free loaders’( and how to evade them )
13.you learn the art of total ignorance ( especially when those dreaded exams crawls near)
14.it’s okay to lend your coat/stationary/chappal/bucket ( no darling…not the undies . That’s where you draw the line )
15.Mess food ( for that matter …any food inside the campus ) sucks ! You still gorge on it ( and develop immunity ..added advantage )
16.Home food ( even cold roti and 'karela' ! ) is manna from heaven *sigh*
17.Trust me …you DON’T wana see the birthday celebrations in boys’ hostel ;)
18.You need to run early if you want your favourite shower ( or hot geyser water ) . If you miss it .. you regret !
19.You learn the technique of faking an “alert” voice ( for precisely one minute )when mom calls you to wake you up in the middle of the deepest sleep !
20.NEVER attend anybody’s girlfriend’s phone ( please go find where is he…why is he not picking up the phone..is he still smoking … can you go wake him up !! )
And lastly , you know that you live with these crazy pigs who’ll help you out no matter what comes !
Cheers …here’s to 2 more years of this depraved existence ! :D
