The above heading typically describes symptoms of what I call “Comparison syndrome”
( Yes , I have seen enough cases of this to actually declare it a syndrome ! )
So , it starts like this . Do you have a friend who turns and adjusts his/her radar as soon as you mention some earthly possession of yours ?
“Dood , I bought a new watch/underwear/eraser/camera/ear phones”
“I love this man … I got it for my birthday”
“Hey , look isn’t this awesome ?”
“Hey , I had an awesome day today “
“Dood … the best food I’ve ever had ! “
At this point he/she will squint their eyes at you .. raise their chin by an inch and declare
“ huh ! This ? Please dood … I got one of these signed by Paris Hilton”
“outing , huh ? I went to Pluto last month man ! To ski around … “
“Oh man …you should go to my home/my roadside stall/my personal limousine kitchen , if you wana have good food ! “
Forgive my exaggerations …but I daresay you got the idea !
I mean to say “WHY !!! WHY !!!”
We humbly accept the fact that you have a hidden treasure left behind by your ancestors ; your share of property in Swarg-Loka ; magical maps to awesome places only you know about ; your personal army of house elves …or just a horde of hand stitched sophisticated Prada space suits .
Now please let us mortals live …
Once , it’s okay ( I mean come on…who dosen’t show off ! ) but the chronic cases of this syndrome tend to develop symptoms at every possible exposure to the “opportunity” antigen .
I mean , after a point of time…it’s just LAME .
And in your mind ,you are like “leave it…can’t help this one !”
You think twice about sharing a news ( “huh ? You sister getting married ? Mine got divorced three times already “ )
You avoid colliding with them ( “oh ! what are you wearing ? tch … I have one of these in all 7 rainbow colours )
And I’ve had several parties spoilt ( “I did this…that..those ….these )
And I’ve researched , trying to find a plausible solution … with countless hours of agony that I had to go through with .
There dosen’t seem to be any … next time you want to vaccinate someone with Comparison Syndrome
1.Be direct and tell them to lay off ( in your face ! )
2.Avoid , if you can . Stuff your mouth with something , talk to someone else or just discuss the weather ( unless they live in Hawai , I doubt they can exaggerate much on that topic )
3.Accquire a moderate form of the syndrome yourself and give them a dosa…oops ! dose of their own medicine .
4. Pray , it always helps :D