Saturday, August 20, 2011

Jockey ,huh ? I got Calvin Klein !

The above heading typically describes symptoms of what I call “Comparison syndrome”
( Yes , I have seen enough cases of this to actually declare it a syndrome ! )

So , it starts like this . Do you have a friend who turns and adjusts his/her radar as soon as you mention some earthly possession of yours ?
Example :
 “Dood , I bought a new watch/underwear/eraser/camera/ear phones”
 “I love this man … I got it for my birthday”
“Hey , look isn’t this awesome ?”
“Hey , I had an awesome day today “
“Dood … the best food I’ve ever had ! “

At this point he/she will squint their eyes at you .. raise their chin by an inch and declare
“ huh ! This ? Please dood … I got one of these signed by Paris Hilton”
“outing , huh ? I went to Pluto last month man ! To ski around … “
“Oh man …you should go to my home/my roadside stall/my personal limousine kitchen , if you wana have good food ! “

Forgive my exaggerations …but I daresay you got the idea !
I mean to say “WHY !!! WHY !!!”

We humbly accept the fact that you have a hidden treasure left behind by your ancestors ; your share of property in Swarg-Loka ; magical maps to awesome places only you know about ; your personal army of house elves …or just a  horde of hand stitched sophisticated Prada space suits .
Now please let us mortals live …

Once , it’s okay ( I mean come on…who dosen’t show off ! ) but the chronic cases of this syndrome tend to develop symptoms at every possible exposure to the “opportunity” antigen .

I mean , after a point of time…it’s just LAME .
And in your mind ,you are like “leave it…can’t help this one !”
You think twice about sharing a news ( “huh ? You sister getting married ? Mine got divorced three times already “ )
You avoid colliding with them ( “oh ! what are you wearing ? tch … I have one of these in all 7 rainbow colours )
And I’ve had several parties spoilt ( “I did this…that..those ….these )

And I’ve researched , trying to find a plausible solution … with countless hours of agony that I had to go through with .
There dosen’t seem to be any … next time you want to vaccinate someone with Comparison Syndrome
1.Be direct and tell them to lay off  ( in your face ! )
2.Avoid , if you can . Stuff your mouth with something , talk to someone else or just  discuss the weather ( unless they live in Hawai , I doubt they can exaggerate much on that topic )
3.Accquire a moderate form of the syndrome yourself and give them a dosa…oops ! dose of their own medicine .
4. Pray , it always helps :D


  1. Oh yeah, this happens with me all the time...
    "Comparison syndrome" is quite common these days & Some show acute symptoms of it...
    All my curiosity in sharing something new goes down the dumps when these people boast to no ends!
    But I've my moments when I give them a direct hit down their cheeky noses!

    Just the other day I was so excited to share with my friends that I bought a new LED TV for my parents on their aniversary, one of my friend as usual said that she just sold the same version to somebody on second hand...I had such fun in telling her that the version that I bought was a total new piece, just released by the company on the same day I bought!lol:D

  2. whoaaaa...aisa hamesha aapke saath he kyon hota!
    *remembering my conversations with u to decipher if I too have any symptoms:-)*

  3. Or maybe they suffer from extremely low self esteem and deserve your sympathy :P

  4. the more sympathy you give ... the more the symptoms exaggerate :D