Wednesday, December 29, 2010


So , I was reading one of these self “help” books recently
*yes , I am that jobless *
And it suddenly struck me … There has been a total reversal .

Remember the good old days . When we were all taught to be ‘humble’ and ‘simple’ ( read …more like ‘drab’ ) …and don’t blow your trumpet .
Going to the beauty saloon was reserved only for marriages ( or when the ‘ladka’ family came to see you ) .Waxing and threading were UNHEARD of ( yes , I can hear the girls gasping ) and the best suit you had was a ‘chikan’ cloth bought from Aminabad and stitched by your neighbour hood tailor .
( “habib’s “ would probably make you think of a biryani or kebab shop )
The maximum ‘fasssion’ guys could do was a bell-bottoms pant and some ‘more than 300’ shirt . And you went to the barber at the corner of your street and sat their obediently while he chopped off you locks into same old ‘katora’ cut .
And beauty saloon for guy ??? ( dood …the effect that would have on the ‘mardangi’ ! )

Well , to make a long story short …this was the India in which out parents grew up in .
And look around yourself now …it’s a different WORLD out there .
People are flashy , they love maintaining themselves . We spend loads on looking good ,eating good , we have a definite PAGE3 in every paper ( even the Hindu … wo ! )
I-phones and blackberrys are as rampant as Mercedes and Gucci !
And I ask myself , is all this good ?

Now ,  I am noone to decide …but what I did read was that that it’s all about ‘feeling good’ these days . The more happier and comfortable you feel with yourself , the more HAPPY signals you send into the universe …and the more you get back .
So , all in all …if you go to a beauty saloon ..get all those thigns ( I would rather not go into the details ) done on you . come back ..look into the mirror and say “Wo ! I am sexy”
Then be it ….it’s good for you
If wearing branded clothes makes you feel ‘dhinchak’ ( no matter how it makes you bf feel , the one who’s paying the bill ) go ahead and buy it !
Grooming yourself and declaring yourself are no sins anymore .
We live in a flashy world ….TV channels and mobiles are changed faster than ever . You need to stand out and blow you orchestra before you get blown away .

So….the question is open ladies and gentlemen …is Vanity still considered insanity ?

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

the great indian idiot box...

So , it’s been 3 days since I placed my gluteus maximus deep into the bed , covered myself in a cocoon of rajai and grabbed my weapon in my hands … shaking it , jerking it till the …channels started moving on the tv .
( yes , you perverts .I meant the remote … be normal sometimes at least )

I thought I’ve had enough of Amrikkan TV shows in hostel …let’s tune in to our desi sexiness ;-)
I was a lil’ disappointed … it’s all not so happening right now .
For one , Rakhi is missing …damn ! it’s like going to a movie show without popcorns .
Trust me , once you’ve seen ms.Sawant at her best…the rest of the tv world seems like Asharam bapu’s pravachan  ( mind u…not baba ramdev’s pravachan though . That dood is like our very own MJ )

For another , all the soaps are so difficult to follow . The one or two which I did get hooked on to during the summers … well , they all got fitted with a time machine .
You know the same old deal …daughters , sons , grand-children have been born . Dead people have come back .  The two sisters who were cute lil’ kiddos when I left are now full blown bimbos fighting for the same guy .
The dad and the son are of the same age ….blah blah …thanks to Ekta Kapoor our sitcoms have taken the courage to defy ageing process and death ( not to mention the normal bitchiness levels) so vehemently  .. I bet they’ll be giving competition to Rajni In the near future :-D

Big Boss rules the roost man ! Thanks to Dolly Bindra … and is it just me or is Venna mallik actually hot ?

The news channels are still the same … The ‘sansani’ guy still displaying his charms .
But you gota watch this ‘shani baba’ …I think on star news ( I wonder if they should change the term news to ‘FANTASY’ ? ) .
Dressed in black and the huge beard …with those theretical mannerisms . He’s like our own slimmer Indian version of Hagrid .

Let’s not even get started on the ‘CARTOON’ channels … ting puny …balls popping ( eye balls I mean ) … chinkies running around everywhere . I swear this is Japan’s new method of taking over the world !
Aaaaaaaaaaaand …. ‘power rangers’ . Lord save us ! Where are good old Uncle Scrooge , Dexter , Balu , Flinstones and He-Man ! ?!

So , I was stuck with angerji channels all over again .. *sigh*
It’s the same thing actually …. From ‘dancing with the stars’ to ‘millionaire’ to ‘5th grader’ . You might as well watch the original guys …
( and SERIOSULY ! get some creativity of your own…TV people )

Oh , btw …anyone wana file in nomination for ‘rakhi ka swayamvar – part II ‘ ? ;-)

Friday, December 17, 2010


Faces on facebook I see
Shinning , glittering , smiling
All look a bit dazed , unreal
As if the smiles are unwilling

Such a fantasy land , this facebook
A projection …of what we desire
Of what we want others to see
Suddenly’s sexy to be a liar

So many faces…long since forgotten
Pop up suddenly ..and I stare
Smile if I remember something silly
Smirk I don’t really care

Strange…a world of personal pages
All false ,made up…ah ! decorated
And yet we cling to it tightly
Loving what we have created …

You ask …why is it do “in” ?
B’coz it represents everything around
All around…dazzle , achievements , pride
Inside ,Our inner selves chained to the ground

Live , be false , project your ‘image’ around
For all you’ll make you feel good
Our inner selves too delicate ,too fragile
To be taken out from under the hood !