Tuesday, December 21, 2010

the great indian idiot box...

So , it’s been 3 days since I placed my gluteus maximus deep into the bed , covered myself in a cocoon of rajai and grabbed my weapon in my hands … shaking it , jerking it till the …channels started moving on the tv .
( yes , you perverts .I meant the remote … be normal sometimes at least )

I thought I’ve had enough of Amrikkan TV shows in hostel …let’s tune in to our desi sexiness ;-)
I was a lil’ disappointed … it’s all not so happening right now .
For one , Rakhi is missing …damn ! it’s like going to a movie show without popcorns .
Trust me , once you’ve seen ms.Sawant at her best…the rest of the tv world seems like Asharam bapu’s pravachan  ( mind u…not baba ramdev’s pravachan though . That dood is like our very own MJ )

For another , all the soaps are so difficult to follow . The one or two which I did get hooked on to during the summers … well , they all got fitted with a time machine .
You know the same old deal …daughters , sons , grand-children have been born . Dead people have come back .  The two sisters who were cute lil’ kiddos when I left are now full blown bimbos fighting for the same guy .
The dad and the son are of the same age ….blah blah …thanks to Ekta Kapoor our sitcoms have taken the courage to defy ageing process and death ( not to mention the normal bitchiness levels) so vehemently  .. I bet they’ll be giving competition to Rajni In the near future :-D

Big Boss rules the roost man ! Thanks to Dolly Bindra … and is it just me or is Venna mallik actually hot ?

The news channels are still the same … The ‘sansani’ guy still displaying his charms .
But you gota watch this ‘shani baba’ …I think on star news ( I wonder if they should change the term news to ‘FANTASY’ ? ) .
Dressed in black and the huge beard …with those theretical mannerisms . He’s like our own slimmer Indian version of Hagrid .

Let’s not even get started on the ‘CARTOON’ channels … ting puny …balls popping ( eye balls I mean ) … chinkies running around everywhere . I swear this is Japan’s new method of taking over the world !
Aaaaaaaaaaaand …. ‘power rangers’ . Lord save us ! Where are good old Uncle Scrooge , Dexter , Balu , Flinstones and He-Man ! ?!

So , I was stuck with angerji channels all over again .. *sigh*
It’s the same thing actually …. From ‘dancing with the stars’ to ‘millionaire’ to ‘5th grader’ . You might as well watch the original guys …
( and SERIOSULY ! get some creativity of your own…TV people )

Oh , btw …anyone wana file in nomination for ‘rakhi ka swayamvar – part II ‘ ? ;-)


  1. Akshay...
    Vina Malik is NOT hot...whatever little I have seen of her on the promos
    And tch, tch...
    Angreezi channel se itne naraazgi...
    But since you put it up so well,
    I am sure even the angreezi channels aren’t complaining:-)

  2. ha ha ...nah ! I love angreji channels ...the narazgi is with hindi ones
    use some creativity hindi channels ! ;-D