Wednesday, December 28, 2011


My 100th blog ... dedicated to all those wonderful people who've read this 'twisted chillies' .

Especially to Booboo ; Suruchi Hotness ; Chotti mirchi ; "P"friend ; Saumya hotty ; Yaaaaa ; The cancerian ; Siggi Biggi ; Ubla Anda ; Rolum ; Katta ; Wihelmina ; Dhanno Mateshwari ; Shishyaa ;Gayathri ma'am ; Linda ; Huzi ; Achyut ( Ok ... Now my memory is running short )
And all those awesome people who've made 2011 an AWESOME year . Love you guys <3 

Another year come to a close
And another one shall begin
As millions have passed before us
And many more will flow in ….

In this infinite universe , what are we ?
A fraction of a second , a speck of dust
And yet we revolve and dance around our axes
Trying to make a mark , doing what we must .

The pages of our years that keep flipping
Will one day end , the book shall close
But till then , keep doggy earing your pages
That mark the joys of life ,and the woes …

Those little things that made “sense”
Those tiny events that made you smile
Those misty eyed nights when you felt lost
Those hands which kept you steady all the while .

Decades,centuries and ages shall pass
Pages will crumble to dust and perish
In the end ,none of our lives might matter
But it’s those ‘doggy ears’ we must cherish …
                         Those doggy ears we must cherish :)

Monday, December 12, 2011

Hathon mein sahejta hoon..

Haathon mein kas ke saheje hue
Ye panne dhundle lagte hai
Ek maadak si sugandh samete
Ye kagaz sunahre lagte hai

Palat palat ke dekhta hoon inhe
Ki inki kahaniyan na bhool jaoon
Kahin syaahi dhoomil ho gayi hai
Kahin panne swaym dhool saman

Us bhishan dhoop mein syaahi sookhi thi
Kabhi seene se laga varsha se bachaya tha
Kuch kahaniyan kamal patron par likh baha di
Kuch devtaon ,apsaraon ki kreeda
.. Kuch par rakt pipasi aghoriyon ka saaya tha .

Kuch panne swaym maine bhasm kiye
Kuch panne kuch aur logon ke naam
Kuch panne kore hi saheje hai
Ki unki kahaniyan syaahi ki mohtaaj nahi

Kabhi asha thi ki ek kitaab bana doonga
Ki piro kar inhe kavitayein likhoonga
Par bikhare ,dhundhle panne pade kaun ?
Bas haothon mein kas ke sahejta hoon main
                              Kas ke sahejta hoon main

Saturday, December 10, 2011

A northie's guide to Chennai Public Transport ;-)

*Dedicated to the first auto-wallah who fleeced me for 300 bucks . Poi saavu naai !*

Yes , it’s Sunday . and you wana go out SOMEWHERE in Chennai .
Somewhere matlab , anywhere ! ( Where you can be with your hindi yaar-dost , speak at full volume . And in some weird way , feel better about getting EVEN with Chennai ) ;-)
The trouble is , how to get there ! Tension venda da , here’s what you do :

1.Catch a share auto 
Awesome ! It’s so cheap . Sometimes ,you’ll feel guilty about cheating the guy for money .
But only until those tamil mamis , their tiny tots , kaam-wali bai , lungi-clad hair sprouting uncleji , the shy salvaar suit spectacle wearing chick ( who looks at you with such suspicious eyes and demeaning looks ) come and cramp you muscles .
And then the auto wallah turns around and says “Konjum thalli ukarangu sir” .
Add to that , a radio playing ‘osthe maamey’ full volume .And sudden breaks which make you feel like throwing up .
Suddenly , your feeling of guilt seems like ‘chutiyaap’ !

Advice : If you are a guy , try grabbing the seat next to the driver . Keep your nose utside ( towards fresh air) and hold on to that archaeological artifact for your dear life ( Yes , the auto meter macha ! )

2.The local train 
You’ll feel more at home here anyday .
The entire hindi SRM crowd ,and side mein romance karte couples .
Kind of makes up for the crowd , the aroma of human excretions in the air and the stumbling over luggage on the floor .

Advantage : 1.Super cheap !
2.runs on time .
3.Free ka romance bey … what more do you want ? :P

3. The MTC buses 
Ah ! I’ve already appraised the charms of Chennai bus travels previously . For now , we’ll limit ourselves to the precautions :

A . Start two hours in advance . Idhu Chennai traffic macha ! what if Amma is going out saree shopping or on a rally . You never know ;)
B.  Grab a seat ( on the RIGHT side ) as soon as you see one . Try sitting on the left side , and get ready to be humiliated , “Enna pa . Idhu ladies seat .Pudusa vaa ? mudula time poriya nee ? Teriliya ? Po po “
C. If standing , grab hold of a seat and look outside . Trust me , you DO NOT want to stand next to someone holding the railings with one hand and their armpits in your face .
D. Know you bus stop . The  conductor is NEVER free .He just might ‘forget’ to tell you that your spot has gone past .
E. Do not get trapped in the ‘ticket passing’ line . You’ll have no idea where di the ticket go and the old paathi will keep pulling your t-shirt “Ayyo .. paisa enga pa ? “
F. Feel no guilt when you push . Darwin named it “survival of the fittest” :D

4. THE AUTO *mrindangam in the background*
Yes , they are plenty . They are always available . They drivers are so courteous and almost jump out of their brown shirts to help you .
Someone once told me ,”The richest people in Chennai travel in autos “
True that . If you know tamil , be ready for a 200 bucks increase ( and 15 mins. of fighting )
If you do not know tamil , be ready for 600 bucks and half-n-hour debate .
Shake your head , wave your hand . Tell them , there’s always traffic everywhere in Chennai .
Or just show them your wallet ( remove everything except 100 bucks ) and make a sad face , “Kaas illae anna” ;-)
The advantage is , they’ll get you anywhere in time .
 The fastest means to travel in Chennai anyday .And an excellent opportunity to learn tamil swear words
You want a u-turn in the middle of the road ? or get past a huge traffic jam ? Or race down someone ?
Onu prcahanne illae da .Just ask the macha up-front .
Caution : DO NOT discuss movies or politics .Trust me , you don’t want to :P

5 Get a call taxi .
If you are one of those ‘posh’ machas . Or if 5 of you are getting stuffed inside one ( and can divide the money ) go ahead !
Advantages – The taxi guy will usually know the way .
You do not need to pay extra/haggle with him over money .
It’s usually on time .
( But you’ll still keep eyeing the metre for good measures . ‘Imaandaari’ is nowhere these days bey ! ) :-)

Happy Travelling . Namma Chennai rocks :D