*camera shifts into focus*
You are walking in a haphazard fashion . Clothes sticking to you back ,you armpits ( and other pits in general ).
Tongue lolling out in distress , skin glittering with an unnatural sheen and your hair plastered flat over your eyes ( if you have coconut oil on . Oh well, That’s a bonus treat )
Infact , you are so disoriented that hallucinations of Amma serving you ‘sambhar sadam’ float in front of your eyes .
Well , welcome to Chennai summers .
That lovely season of the year when roads glitter with heat , lungis get folded as high as possible ( sometimes even higher ) and the demand for ‘moar’ ( read buttermilk ) increases tenfold .
The sweat .
If you live in a hostel with no air-conditioner/cooler in your room ( Yes , my story ) …You would definitely know what am I talking about .
It just dosen’t come out , it flows . It seeps in , it soaks the very existence of your being .
Infact , I would like to quote Tennyson’s ‘Brook’ here ,“By thirty hills I hurry down, Or slip between the ridges;
By twenty thorps, a little town, And half a hundred bridges.
Till last by Philip's farm I flow, To join the brimming river;
For men may come and men may go, But I go on forever.”
Metaphorically speaking , replace the hills with with our nose , ear , eye lids , thighs , belly , bum ( or any other curves you might have ) .
Replace the ridges with your armpits , the little town with your belly button and the bridges with your fingers .
The Philips’ farm can very well be some areas down there ( shhhh … Idhu adult blog illae sir . Please understand )
And yes , you’ve got the general picture .
Ps – Getting up in the middle of the night ,realizing there is a layer of sweat between you and the bed sheet .
It makes you wonder why people waste money on saunas :D
The Power Cut .
Yes, thankfully we have it for just two hours in namma Chennai .It’s around 9-10 hours in dear old Coimbatore and elsewhere .
Have you seen ever seen exorcism ? no ?
Vaangu sir . come to our hostel during (4-6)pm .People will be roaming with eyes dilated , hair all dishevelled and torn and I would rather not discuss the state of (un)dress ;-)
Some might be found shaking uncontrollably , staring vacantly into space or abusing/shouting/banging walls without any apparent reason .
Ah ! the simple joys of standing fully clothed under shower and (literally) soaking the marvel of nature , water :D
The solution .
Enna sir ? Namma Chennai la … In our Chennai you will be finding all solutions sir .
Lungi rocks – I am sorely tempted to try my first one this summer . The sheer bliss of feeling air circulating around Philip’s farm !
And automatic air control included .Just shorten it as the temperature keeps soaring ;-)
Coconut – God bless it ! Rs.10 worth of Heaven’s manna .
The talcum powder – Do it macha style da ! Spray it , pour it , bathe in the ecstasy and frangrance of this gift of cosmetics .
Make sure it reaches all the crevices ( It might take some practice before you cover all crevices . But don’t give up hope ) :P
Marina Beach – Pack your lunch , put on your shiniest shirt ,some sexy goggles ( a gold chain wouldn’t go amiss either ) and just hop on .
Just mind you step . Considering the amount of ‘chinna papas’ ( read, nasty brats ) that roam around , you might stumble over and fall face down in someone’s ‘bhajji’ plate leftover :D
General caution : Please avoid buses between (6-8) pm . Trust me ,Hitler could’ve learnt a few tricks for his gas chambers from them !!