Tuesday, August 11, 2015

The Marriage Marathon

Chichi. Look at you. Lounging around in pyjamas and flipflops. Still Nagin dancing in pubs, selfieing and facebook stalking crushes.

When all this while, there is a marriage marathon happening out there. Men and women your age have been coming home tired from work, exhausted and bleary eyed. And yet, holding hands with their coaches ( read, parents) and going through mind wrecking grueling 'choosing' sessions everyday.

Women have been discarding  minis and embracing churidars. Giving up the comforts of low necks for full sleeved track suits. Not to mention, the never ending barrage of Face packs, vitamins and statins.
Hitting the gym, removing objectional content from facebook, keeping somvaar fasts (coz, we need to insert some Bharatness everywhere) matching the colours, comparing notes, zealously scrutinising others and holding hands with a dozen other professionals (designers, interiors, gym coaches, neighbourhood veteran aunties)  to make the marathon happen! 

Men have changed their browsing histories from

No caste bar

Well, we are men. What bigger sacrifice and preparation do you expect from us?

The marathon begins at the job line. Once you have settled in your position at this line, you must start running. Sometimes, the relatives wave the flag ( or blow the get-set-go whistle). But mostly, its a kick on your ass that makes you topple ( laptop,salary cheque, fixed deposits, degree n all in hand) into the arena.

The crowd in the audience wil be thin. Mostly, it will be contestants you age. Clad in Lehangas, suits, veshtis and designer sarees. Switch on the Bharatnatrimony app on your phone, plug in 'mangal bhagwan vishnu' on your ipod and start running.

As more and more of your friends run ahead of you, the scoreboard will flash fake I-am-so-happy-i-am-dying inside wedding photos. The winners who reach the deadline will have their babies' photos flashed on the screen too. As the number of awwwwws and likes increase, you will feel the pressure building.

Run closer to the stands. They will be sitting in the audience. Always ready to lend a hand. Their own handcuffs clicking and they offer you a shortcut to the finish line by offering to handcuff you to an overly eager borderline personality chick.

Move your lazy, carefree, alcohol laden, work obsessed bum and get ready.

Haven't you heard? There's a marriage marathon happening.


  1. This marathon definitely sounds scary..lol..but i aint running yet..;)

  2. Its hell scary but truth. Amazingly written..crisply explained and daringly true..

  3. Haahaaa.... So true.... More thn parents its d relatives n married frnz to put you into more pressure.... 4-5 yrs down d line everyone born in era 1986-1990 would be at the end of marathon.. N would b geared up fr another marathon of family or apna vansh bhadao marathon